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Carol
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« Reply #15 on: April 29, 2008, 01:40:09 PM » |
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Glad you got Lucy's thread started. I've been watching for it.
Having gone through this myself, here's my best advice: time and
touch. She will probably miss Harry for a long time, maybe always.
They were a part of each other. Keep her close, lots of hugs and
pats and one-sided conversations that keep her engaged with you.
I think Trudy is right about a puppy being accepted better than an
older dog, but I wouldn't be in a hurry. And not on account of Lucy.
For you, Carol. You and Mike need time to mend your broken hearts.
Then you'll be ready to face the joy and challenge of a new fur-baby.
I don't think Mike and I were ready for how Lucy would react---we did have her see him but we never let her see him out of the truck so we wonder if she thought he was just in "his regular place"?? We know how hard it is for us and we know that he is no longer feeling badly and poor Lucy just keeps looking for him.....  We don't know if we should be sad with her or try to keep up her spirits--guess Mike and I still need your strength sent our way!  She dropped a tennis ball in front of Smudge last night but Smudgie has a fair bit of encephalopathy (Mike says no need to be a vet neuro to know this) so she just looked up at Lucy like--huh??? We worry as she has never really liked other pups except for Hody so that is kind of our fault---we probably didn't socialize them as we should have--  So long story short---we still need you more than ever! Love ya all, Carol and Mike on behalf of Lucy lou x0x0x0 |
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“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” — Margaret Mead
United we stand Divided we fall....
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kaffe
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« Reply #16 on: April 29, 2008, 02:55:51 PM » |
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Carol: Have you considered the services of a genuine animal communicator? I've never used one, but I read a woman's story in the hyper-T group (I think) that blew me out! She had daughter who had a rescue cat who developed hyper-T - pretty bad, which required frequent vet visits and blood check. For some reason, the daughter could not be relied upon to take the poor cat to the vet, so mom did it for her... but Everytime she would come to pick up the cat from her daughter's place to take to the vet, the cat would hide under the bed and become very depressed. Finally the woman contacted an animal communicator. Accoridng to the animal communicator, the cat "told" her" she was afraid that something was really wrong with her becuase she kept being taken to the vet and that her people might return her to the shelter becuase she was sick... so, she hides... the communicator told the cat that her people will never give her up and that she is brought to the vet so she can get better becuase her people love her so much. The next time this mother came to pick up this cat for a vet appointment, the cat actually greeted her and entered the cat carrier by hersoelf. Isn't that amazing?
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catwoods
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« Reply #17 on: April 29, 2008, 04:36:22 PM » |
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Kaffe, that is amazing! And you know, that kind of fits with something I've read that happens with mother cats and kittens. From the standpoint of survival in harsh circumstances of the wild, even a domesticated cat may ignore a kitten that she senses is so sickly it will not survive - in the interest of putting her efforts into the offspring that will survive. This of course is not human ethics, but animals act from purely biological motivations sometimes. Could this be why cats so often hide when they are ill? Perhaps they have an instinctual response amounting to "If I am sick, Momkitty (now a human) will not want me".
Everything always goes back to Mom....
Of course hiding when ill is also an instinct to hide weakness from predators.
In other words, an animal communcator sounds like a good idea for Lucy.
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« Last Edit: April 29, 2008, 06:41:12 PM by catwoods »
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shibadiva
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« Reply #18 on: April 29, 2008, 06:34:25 PM » |
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Carol LOL! Poor Smudge! Cats and dogs play quite different games, don't they? Both of my dogs toss their toys at the feet of the cats and get such disdainful looks in return. "You want me to touch that droolly thing?"
Kaffeand catwoods That's interesting about the cat's reaction and the theory about hiding when sick. It's true that animal parents need to consider the optimal survival of their babies, so runts are sometimes left to die if they are at a certain point. It's not that the parents "think" about it; it's built into their genetic makeup: "altruistic" parents who support offspring with a small chance of survival jeopardize the rest of their babies and fewer of them survive. (I just read this in Richard Dawkins' book, "The Selfish Gene").
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A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.
~~ Gandhi
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Orange Fuzzball
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« Reply #19 on: April 29, 2008, 06:53:44 PM » |
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Carol, you and Mike and Lucy have all of our good thoughts. I'm sure it will take her a while, but I think you did the right thing by letting her see him. I'm thinking of how human children deal with death: they might see a dead relative at the funeral and understand at that time, but a few days later they ask you when the person is coming back. There's a disconnect between "now" and "always" that doesn't quite click for kids, and I wouldn't be surprised if something similar is at work with animals. Lucy will grieve, but she - and you - will heal.
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Carol
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« Reply #20 on: May 01, 2008, 04:29:36 AM » |
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It has been a week since Lucy lost her brother and we do see that she has a spring back in her step at times. My nephew, the one who was so kind to help us last Thursday with both Lucy and the physical aspects of what we had to do--saw her yesterday and they could see that some of the "sadness" that was so palpable had lessened. "Scooter's" mom has called and wants to get together with two of her pups to see if Lucy wants a playdate! and also one of my son's high school friends has moved back to his parents here up the road (past the bog) and has a golden who left his housemate "brother" retriever back in Florida (economy reason he came back) so it seems that Lucy may have some new friends and we will take it from there to see what is best for her. She is very good off leash and has been able to go with Mike and me in places in the yard that she did not before...and has lots of new smells and that is good---her tail tells us alot! I want to post some pix but found very few of just her!!  As we start this next chapter with Lucy (and you) we know it hasn't been written yet so we are looking optimistically towards the future but will never ever forget the wonderful past with Harry! |
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“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” — Margaret Mead
United we stand Divided we fall....
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kaffe
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« Reply #21 on: May 01, 2008, 01:11:35 PM » |
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Oh, that's good to hear, Carol - that Lucy is finding her bounce back. The doggie playmates will also help a lot in distracting her, for I am sure you and Mike have been doing a lot of that lately for dear Lucy. I look forward to the photos!
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trudy1
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« Reply #22 on: May 01, 2008, 04:58:51 PM » |
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Carol, I still believe what I said before. I think it will just take time. And I think if you and Mike are sad, then let Her see you sad. She can sense it anyway, even if you try not to show it. This hasn't been very long. And who knows how long it has been for her?
We are still here for you and mike, always.
We love Lucy, but we'll never forget Harry.
I think the reason a cat hides when it's sick, is because it can't show that in the wild. It has to look healthy in the wild, or it could be killed.
Survival of the fittest.
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catbird
Global Moderator
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Torti Goddess
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« Reply #23 on: May 01, 2008, 05:06:12 PM » |
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I am glad that Lucy seems to be resolving her grief, and has some possible friends to check out. I hope the pain is easing a bit for you and Mike, too.
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catwoods
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« Reply #24 on: May 01, 2008, 05:14:05 PM » |
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Carol you and Lucy and your family have remained in my thoughts. Warmest wishes for peace and comfort for all.
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petslave
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« Reply #25 on: May 01, 2008, 05:49:40 PM » |
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Carol - I've had several friends that had vets come to their houses when it was time to let their very sick dogs go. They both let their other dogs be present, and allowed them to remain with the deceased dog for some time afterwards, over an hour in one case. The dogs seemed to understand what had happened to their companion, but they too grieved & searched for their beloved friend afterwards, even after watching them be buried. So even if you had let Lucy be with Harry longer, the outcome probably would have been the same for her.
I think OF maybe right about the 'short memory', or maybe it is actually be more complex than that. I've always felt pets have a more direct connection to the 6th senses of the physical & spiritual world than humans because we are more caught up in the merry go round of our minds' thoughts all day long. I have to wonder if they don't actually feel/sense/smell their companion's spirit around them, and so the searching to try to figure out why they sense them, but can't see them in the form they are used to. Your descrip of Lucy going along the fence sniffing the air made me think of this. Maybe she is now adjusting to having Harry around you in his new form...........
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shibadiva
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« Reply #26 on: May 01, 2008, 06:16:59 PM » |
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Carol It's great to hear that Lucy will be making some new friends with Scooter and the retriever up the road.
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A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.
~~ Gandhi
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lesliek
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« Reply #27 on: May 01, 2008, 07:02:25 PM » |
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Carol- I think the play dates are a great idea ! It will help Lucy,and you and Mike.If it goes well over time,you may be able to consider a companion for her.Since she is used to Harry not having a lot of energy,maybe an older adoptee would work out.Of course Smudge may not agree.
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"the world's most inept extortionist"
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Patricia
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« Reply #28 on: May 01, 2008, 11:17:12 PM » |
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Lucy is so adorable........ Give her lots of tlc and extra attention. Maybe introduce her to a friend's dog so they can play together.
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kaffe
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« Reply #29 on: May 01, 2008, 11:23:42 PM » |
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Carol - I've had several friends that had vets come to their houses when it was time to let their very sick dogs go. They both let their other dogs be present, and allowed them to remain with the deceased dog for some time afterwards, over an hour in one case. The dogs seemed to understand what had happened to their companion, but they too grieved & searched for their beloved friend afterwards, even after watching them be buried. So even if you had let Lucy be with Harry longer, the outcome probably would have been the same for her.
I think OF maybe right about the 'short memory', or maybe it is actually be more complex than that. I've always felt pets have a more direct connection to the 6th senses of the physical & spiritual world than humans because we are more caught up in the merry go round of our minds' thoughts all day long. I have to wonder if they don't actually feel/sense/smell their companion's spirit around them, and so the searching to try to figure out why they sense them, but can't see them in the form they are used to. Your descrip of Lucy going along the fence sniffing the air made me think of this. Maybe she is now adjusting to having Harry around you in his new form...........
Yes, I also wonder about this... long ago, after my beloved Peppe died, my freind's chihuahua (who lived in the same house with us), used to stare and soft-bark and wag his tail at a point on top of a bookcase... he did this everyday for more than a week and I also thought, "It's Peppe he senses." |
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