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Bridgett
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« on: February 08, 2008, 09:50:14 AM » |
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Things CATS Must Try To Remember!- Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.
- I should not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.
- If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to stay there until I get hungry.
- The guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while. I will not watch him constantly.
- If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.
- I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at nothing right after my human has finished watching "The X-Files".
- Television and computer screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.
- No matter how dangly and attractive they are, my human's earrings are not cat toys.
- If I play 'dead cat on the stairs' while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, one of these days it will really come true.
- My human is capable of cooking bacon and eggs without my help.
- The canned cat food is already dead. I do not need to kill it by swatting bits of it all over the floor.
- I am a carnivore. Potted plants are not meat.
- I will never be able to walk on the ceiling, and staring up the wall and screaming at it will not bring it any closer.
- It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it all dissolves in the boiling coffee.
- The goldfish likes living in water and must be allowed to remain in its bowl.
- If my human wants to share her sandwich with me, she will give me a piece. She will notice if I start eating it from the other end.
- I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside.
- The large dog in the back yard has lived there for six years. I will not freak out every time I see it.
- I am a neutered cat, not a peacock, and prancing around with my tail fluffed up will not make my parts grow back.
- If I must give a present to my humans's overnight guests, my toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a live cockroach, even if it isn't as tasty.
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Bridgett and Co
Why do cats always jump on your lap with their claws out? Especially when you are wearing shorts?
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catbird
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« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2008, 10:09:39 AM » |
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catwoods
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« Reply #2 on: February 08, 2008, 03:18:43 PM » |
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 Just too funny!
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Bridgett
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« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2008, 03:43:09 PM » |
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My cats have done the staring into a dark corner after the X-files. It IS freaky!
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Bridgett and Co
Why do cats always jump on your lap with their claws out? Especially when you are wearing shorts?
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mainecoonpeg
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« Reply #4 on: February 08, 2008, 03:50:41 PM » |
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Bridgett............only dust molecules ::)The truth "IS" out there..........or on the floor or in the air........  Thank you for my laugh for the day |
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If cats could talk......They wouldn't
Tortie cats are like Almond Joys........Very sweet and a little nuts
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kaffe
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« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2008, 07:14:32 PM » |
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Bridgett
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« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2008, 08:27:49 AM » |
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I think they do it deliberately. They sense that we are scared by something and want revenge for not serving dinner at the right time.
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Bridgett and Co
Why do cats always jump on your lap with their claws out? Especially when you are wearing shorts?
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pygmypets
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« Reply #7 on: February 11, 2008, 08:41:42 AM » |
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The Xfiles statement is really a cat thing for sure. Time to turn all the lights on when they start that stuff. And screaming at the catfood , well that is so true. Glad we have pop up lids now. Instant gratification just so they can lick the gravy off and leave the rest. All the screaming for gravy. LOL.
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tuttibella
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« Reply #8 on: March 03, 2008, 03:37:53 PM » |
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Bridgett
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« Reply #9 on: March 03, 2008, 03:51:03 PM » |
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Hee hee. I saw a bumpet sticker the other day that read: "Our Rottwieller is not spoiled, we are just well trained". |
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Bridgett and Co
Why do cats always jump on your lap with their claws out? Especially when you are wearing shorts?
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Bridgett
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« Reply #10 on: March 03, 2008, 03:51:50 PM » |
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The Xfiles statement is really a cat thing for sure. Time to turn all the lights on when they start that stuff. And screaming at the catfood , well that is so true. Glad we have pop up lids now. Instant gratification just so they can lick the gravy off and leave the rest. All the screaming for gravy. LOL.
Yeah don't you just love that? Pay $1.50 for a can of food and all the cats want is the juice. Nice. |
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Bridgett and Co
Why do cats always jump on your lap with their claws out? Especially when you are wearing shorts?
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dingbat
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« Reply #11 on: March 03, 2008, 05:15:04 PM » |
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I will never be able to walk on the ceiling, and staring up the wall and screaming at it will not bring it any closer. Bridgett Actually had a cat that did this, well not on the ceiling, she was in the garage and we found her hanging upside down from one of the ceiling joists. She didn't learn and tore out some of her claws. then she finally stopped doing it. really freaky to come into the garage and find the cat hanging upside down. db |
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I used to think that anyone doing anything weird was weird. I suddenly realized that anyone doing anything weird wasn't weird at all and it was the people saying they were weird that were weird.
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Bridgett
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« Reply #12 on: March 04, 2008, 04:01:14 PM » |
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I will never be able to walk on the ceiling, and staring up the wall and screaming at it will not bring it any closer. Bridgett Actually had a cat that did this, well not on the ceiling, she was in the garage and we found her hanging upside down from one of the ceiling joists. She didn't learn and tore out some of her claws. then she finally stopped doing it. really freaky to come into the garage and find the cat hanging upside down. db OMG! How did she get up there!? She must have been chasing spiders or something. Silly cat! |
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Bridgett and Co
Why do cats always jump on your lap with their claws out? Especially when you are wearing shorts?
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dingbat
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« Reply #13 on: March 04, 2008, 04:03:48 PM » |
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How did she get up there!? bridgett She would hop from thing to thing, up some shelves and then onto the joists. Her name was Daffy, and she was, wasn't a bug in the garage, she would kill everything, mice, snakes, frogs, insects, nothing survived around her. db |
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I used to think that anyone doing anything weird was weird. I suddenly realized that anyone doing anything weird wasn't weird at all and it was the people saying they were weird that were weird.
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kb
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« Reply #14 on: March 04, 2008, 10:07:36 PM » |
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dingbat, she was just trying to copy how she had seen you sleeping!
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