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Author Topic: So True ;D ;D  (Read 3144 times)
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caylee
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« on: December 18, 2009, 07:28:10 AM »

This was just sent to me by a friend - I'm laughing so hard, tears are coming!

Quote
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY. FOR THOSE WHO DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.
 
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats:
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.. I cannot stress this enough!

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:


TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture... That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't smoke or drink,
(7) don't want to wear your clothes,
(Cool don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children...


 
 
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JoMax
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« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2009, 07:36:43 AM »

 Grin Grin Grin

Just what I needed to brighten my afternoon
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"I can think of many ways in which I would become a better person if I were more like my cats. But I cannot think of a single way in which my cats would be any better for being more like me."  A.N.Wilson
JJ
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« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2009, 08:06:05 AM »

Very funny - do you know who wrote that? Would like to have one for my front door as that speaks volumes to the non-pet owner folks, especially about the 'fur'niture!
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May your troubles be less,
Your blessings be more,
And nothing but happiness
Come through your door
caylee
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« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2009, 08:10:22 AM »

Very funny - do you know who wrote that? Would like to have one for my front door as that speaks volumes to the non-pet owner folks, especially about the 'fur'niture!

No I do not know who wrote it. I guess it was just one of those cute things that people send to one another, as she got it also from a friend.
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catbird
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Never underestimate the power of crazy cat ladies!


WWW
« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2009, 11:11:35 AM »

I've seen the "To Non-Pet-Owners" part done up in cross stitch on the wall of someone's home.   Grin
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The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer--Paula Poundstone
bug
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RIP little angel Katey


« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2009, 01:23:42 PM »

Awesome and totally true! Thanks for that.
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My little babies, you'll always be in my heart. Mom will see you later. Look after each other, ok?
catwoods
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« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2009, 04:39:03 PM »

 Grin Grin Grin Thanks for posting this, it's an absolute scream!
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tesla
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« Reply #7 on: December 18, 2009, 05:32:11 PM »

OMG, that was hilarious!  I just got reading it to the family and they are getting a good laugh.  Thanks for posting it!
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Sandi K
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« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2010, 02:59:44 PM »

This was great, love the part about thats why its called furrrrniture!   Grin
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