Itchmo Forums for Cats & Dogs Brought to you by Itchmo: Essential news, humor and info for cats, dogs and pet owners.
July 05, 2020, 12:10:03 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News:
 
   Home   Help Search Login Register  

Go To Itchmo.com: Read the latest cat, dog and pet news, pet food recall info, product reviews and more — updated daily.


Pages: [1]
  Print  
Author Topic: Possible Tramatized Cat  (Read 3603 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Angels Mama & Katy Mom Of 1
Sr. Member
****
Posts: 364


Rusty


« on: August 30, 2009, 06:10:10 PM »

I can't even begin to explain how  Angry  Angrrry  Angry  I've been! When i talked to the previous owners of Baby she said, the owner before her has told her that her son used to spin Baby around on the floor & that may be why she was peeing! I was using a laser light to try & distract her when she was in heat and i was going in circles and apparently this is how she had been spun around.She's out of heat now. We haven't really bonded which is another concern she seems not to like me I don't know why, & she still hides a lot under my couch and i let her as I want her to be able to have her space and feel secure even if it does take her a long time. I got her about 8-5-09 am I being impatient with her?? Could what happened to Baby be traumatizing to her?? and if yes Please give me links you may have to help me know how to deal with this.Thank You AngelKatie&Mom3
Logged

Angels Mama & Katy Mom of 1
petslave
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 5178


« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2009, 06:35:25 PM »

Now we know why she bites and acts otherwise aggressive!  Oh dear, why do people let their kids get away with these things. 

I doubt that the spinning by the little boy caused her to pee at your house, but I'm sure it didn't help her to trust people and become a loving kitten.  It may take many months to bond with her and get her to find out there are other types of relationships with people. 

Spaying her should help her settle down from her hormone swings, and having a quiet home with loving, accepting people around should bring her around eventually.  She's still young, so there's lots of time for her to rework her ideas about people.  Playing gently with her is good, but maybe a laser light is too stimulating and recreates that spinning feeling.  Try a string and keep it going slowly in a straight line.  Maybe also spend lots of time just talking to her in a sweet, quiet voice without a lot of petting and picking up.

I know you were really excited to get Baby and this must be discouraging to find her to be less than the happy kitty you were hoping for.  I'm sure she came to you to heal, though, and in time you two will be bonded in your own special way.  I have 2 feral kitties that were awful when I first got them but are very loving now.  It takes awhile, but you'll eventually have that will little Baby cat, I'm sure.
Logged
catwoods
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 6816



« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2009, 07:04:48 PM »

I agree with everything Petslave said. It is not surprising that Baby is distant towards humans under the circumstances you describe.

Tender loving care and letting her come to you at her own pace could help overcome her distrust. It isn't that she dislikes you in particular, she just has not had time to learn that other humans are not like the one that mistreated her. This will take time. But when a shy animal, such as the ferals that we've coaxed slowly into becoming lap kitties, finally becomes sweet, it is so worth it, it is such joy. Smiley
Logged
Meowli
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 3021


Oscar


« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2009, 07:09:15 PM »

Glad Baby has come out of heat!
We have had kitties that came to us traumatized in their early lives, they can and do learn to trust again. It does take time, patience, and love. Some come around quicker than others. She's been through a lot, a move, new surroundings and also heat - practically all at once.
Don't be too anxious about the bonding, cats pick up on our tension, so relax and talk to her softly and repeatedly. She will come to realize that she is safe.  A good bribe/treat won't hurt either...Good luck.
Meowli
Logged
JJ
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 8531


« Reply #4 on: August 30, 2009, 07:47:56 PM »

The advice of others to talk to her in soft tones and just talk out loud when  your making dinner, writing out bills, anything in general to have Baby hear your voice to know that not all humans are mean and cruel. It took me over two years of talking, having hug time, just petting Foxy Lady now and then to have her come around after being brutally beaten by a man-who luckily, gave her up to the shelter before he killed her. But they do come around it just takes a lot of patience and love. When they do turn the corner it is such a joy to see and know your love and kindness brought it about.
Logged

May your troubles be less,
Your blessings be more,
And nothing but happiness
Come through your door
Mandycat
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 5617


« Reply #5 on: August 30, 2009, 08:20:36 PM »

All of the above advice is good.  Patience is the key.  Spaying will make her more mellow and make it easier to start the bonding.  When I first got Mandy, she didn't want to be picked up and would sit beside me, but not on my lap.  We worked on both things very slowly and eventually she became more trustful.  I think that she may have had some bad experience being picked up and was therefore very scared to be up off of the ground.  It took a little time and patience.  Now she is a total love bug and loves to cuddle and wants to be on a lap as much as she can.  Give it a little time, and all will be well.
Logged
JustMe
Administrator
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 10517


My RB Angels Elvis, 1991-2010, and Twit, 2001-2010


« Reply #6 on: August 30, 2009, 08:21:24 PM »

I think 3 weeks is way too short a time to form a bond with a young cat, so you are probably right about needing to be a little more patient and not try to rush Baby.  It will take time for you to gain her trust.   Let her come to you when she is ready.  Smiley There is an old saying:  "Patience has its rewards".   Wink

Defintely would discontinue the laser light since it seems to be upsetting Baby.   You know, this is a big adjustment for the 4 of you, particularly with Baby being in heat and Whoshe being a senior girl.  Baby has to be really confused about what is going on.

A few years ago, we adopted a young black kitten from my MIL's neighborhood with a leg wound.  He also was spun around by the previous family and even worse, which I won't go into.  MIL had witnessed the abuse.  He turned out to be the sweetest, gentlest boy kitty we could have ever hoped for.   It didn't take long for him to lose his shyness and skittishness.  He used to sleep right next to me every night. 
Logged

Eventually they will understand,
Replied the glorious cat
For I will whisper into their hearts
That I am always with them
I just am....forever and ever and ever.
Poem for Cats, author unknown

"A kitten in the animal kingdom is like a rosebud in a garden", author unknown
lesliek
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 11145


Trooper,Remy & Fragile


« Reply #7 on: August 31, 2009, 04:40:39 AM »

I agree with what everyone has already said. The fact that Baby is very young will help her to calm down & eventually bond with you & them also.Its just going to take some time & patience. Her spay will help settle her & keep the other 2 from being upset with her also.If she likes playing with a string,try pulling it behind you while walking that way she will start to associate happy play with you.
Logged

"the world's most inept extortionist"
catmom5
Guest
« Reply #8 on: August 31, 2009, 05:07:54 AM »

I know how hard it is to want to "bond" with a new cat or kitten, but others are right. It could take some time. And now to find out that Baby was mistreated (grrrr) as a kitten explains a lot of her behavior now.

It's too bad you don't have a separate space for her, but I would most definitely keep things calm and let her determine the pace of the interactions for you. Quiet conversation with her (even from a distance) and allowing her to be "in charge" would most definitely help (IMHO). I keep the classical music station on all the time and it helps my five. I keep a bottle of Rescue Remedy for pets on hand and rub a drop or two on ears when someone needs calming. Also having Baby spayed should help her hormones to settle, too (and help the other two to settle around her).

The other thing you could do is to try and offer treats when she is being calm and/or interacting appropriately. I bought two balls with holes in them and when they roll them around the treats (or it could be kibble) come out. (Only one of my five has figured out how to MAKE the treats come out, though - DUH!)

Baby has had a lot to cope with in her life and she probably is leery of what's going to happen next. Thank you for giving her the chance of a normal, happy life with someone who loves her. It will happen, but it may take some time. Your patience will be rewarded, I'm sure. (And she may always be reserved and cautious around unexpected people and activity - and that's okay, too.)

Please keep us posted.

catmom5
Logged
bug
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 4905

RIP little angel Katey


« Reply #9 on: August 31, 2009, 06:16:33 AM »

When dh and I found Mia, she was just 5 month old. She seemed like a cuddly little girl. After a couple of weeks at our house, she turned into a maniac and was trying to boss everyone else around (the other 4 cats). She wouldn't come to me at all, just dh. To this day, I'm her maid and dh is her daddy. What's his secret? He picks her up and mezmorizes her by whispering to her. She just looks at him as if she's hanging on his every word. I don't even know what he says to her. She never comes to sleep on me (though she sleeps at my feet at night) and I can forget about having her as a lap cat -- but -- all dh has to do is whistle a little tune and she goes running over and curls up on him for a nap. Go figure. He was the "cat-hater." I'm a more outspoken person and I talk louder than dh. Mia let's me know if I'm talking too loud and she definitely doesn't put up with me yelling at dh.

I think that whispering to Baby and the others while they are close could help calm them. After baby is spayed, you'll notice that she'll settle down and be more open to being friends. It won't be instant, like overnight, but you'll notice the difference in time. Baby is still very young. Just think about kids -- they're interested in playing and doing their own thing and they have tantrums when they don't get their way. Just be patient and try to find things to do with Baby that are more relaxing.
Logged

My little babies, you'll always be in my heart. Mom will see you later. Look after each other, ok?
tesla
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 2260


« Reply #10 on: August 31, 2009, 03:37:17 PM »

I agree with everyone else, patience is a key.  Spaying will help settle her down some, too.  I know I had a couple of kitties that were not too affectionate while they were in heat which improved after spaying.  My girl, Little Bit was an abused kitty.  I  can't even describe the shape she came to me in, it was horrible.  Her ribcage is even malformed from probably being kicked, my vet's guess.  It has taken awhile, but she is becoming one very sweet girl.  We (my dh and I) are still being very quiet and patient with her and little, by little more of her personality is coming out.  We are thrilled by each little "Firsts" she makes, like the "first" time she came up and laid down in each of our lap on her own.  We just look and each other and mouth to each other "LOOK", we were just so excited!  I wish I could show you the leaps and bounds we have made over this past year and the rewards we have shared. 

I just just know with some time and patience you too will be able to see and enjoy the rewards!
Logged
Angels Mama & Katy Mom Of 1
Sr. Member
****
Posts: 364


Rusty


« Reply #11 on: September 04, 2009, 06:06:32 PM »

Thank You all for the tips Grin I just whispered to who-she (she's the PC cat right beside me on desk as i type LOL) it seemed to calm her Grin I just am so used to having a natural bond with animals they have been my passion since I was young.Thats why baby & me Not bonding has been different, but now we know why, and I have the tools to deal with it better.I haven't even turned on PC for a few days  100+humidity Temps here in Calif. have been terrible I'm ready for some fall weather.AngelKatie&Mom3
Logged

Angels Mama & Katy Mom of 1
bug
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 4905

RIP little angel Katey


« Reply #12 on: September 04, 2009, 06:27:47 PM »

I'm glad to hear things are getting better for you guys. Transitions always have their own dynamic and they take time and patience. Nice to see you're getting rewarded for your efforts.
Logged

My little babies, you'll always be in my heart. Mom will see you later. Look after each other, ok?
Pages: [1]
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Copyright 2007 Itchmo.com: Read the latest cat, dog and pet news, pet food recall info, product reviews and more — updated daily.
Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines | Sitemap