For all my other past babies at this time.  Peace and love.

Izzy - darling old black girl - 'big brupper'. April 1989-June 2004. Sorry I knew so little about CRF until too late, you were the first and it hit you so severely and so quickly. And I wish I'd not let your dad grab at hope that 3rd and last time & put your through that final week on IV, alone at the vets. At least I got to bring you home for those few final sad hours.  Hope you are resting in the sun and watching the world go by as you loved to here.

Kali - little white & orange KK. April 1993-Nov 2005. I feel so guilty because you faded into the background and kept your distance when Eppie came. I didn't try to encourage you back enough, and I regret that more than I can say.  And I'm sorry you suffered so much at the end - I know your dad tried everything, but I wish I could have made the hard decision for you sooner. I wonder if your babies are still around (3 boy kittens just like you born June 1994) One day I will post your & their story here.

Holly - my little tabby & white kitten. Born July 1987, died from eating a poisoned rat Dec 1987. The sweetest kit, fearless and into everything.  You were only with me 3 months. I still cry for your short life.

Martie - tabby & white girl with the biggest eyes ever.  Died July 1986 at age 9, semi-wild & liked to go off for days - came back too late one day with a bite so badly infected she died of ARF overnight.

Sheba - one of my original two cats.  Quiet old black girl.  1976-April 1993.  Your brother always overshadowed you,  but you were such a sweet, uncomplaining girl. And for those 4 lovely white kittens you bore summer 1978.

Tiny - the tiny kitten, never could think of a 'real' name, so Tiny it was.  Little jellical, Martie's sister. Born 1977.  One of the two I left behind with ex in 1990 - sorry I abandoned you, it was so hard - but you loved your friend Tiggy so much I thought you'd be happier with him than with Sheba.

Last and forever wondering what happened in your final years, my Tiggy.  Sheba's bother, lovely tabby cat, beloved by absolutely everyone who met you - even avowed cat-avoiders.  You had a way of charming us all.  Tigger, forgive me, I was young and smitten and couldn't stand up to the blackmail.  I felt so guilt leaving you, you who waited for me to come home every day, who leapt out of the first floor window onto my car every time I arrived at the house.  Who would be held & cuddled for hours & stay draped round my shoulders whilst I moved around the kitchen cooking.  Who would come in the bedroom window on summer nights & snuggle unnoticed under the covers with me.  I also confess to not wanting to have to handle your end,  I'm sorry, I hope dad let it be kind & painless for you. 

But, if I hadnt been blackmailed into leaving you, Max wouldnt have come to me - first Tigger, then Max, I have been truly blessed with two catboy loves.  And I will never, ever leave a beloved ever again - even if it means changing my life and plans.  I have learned that much at least.

Bless and hugs and love to you all.
Mum

Merry Christmas to my angels...