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3catkidneyfailure
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« on: June 18, 2007, 09:49:08 PM » |
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A message for my pet that counts:
It is so quiet and sad,
this home of mine that we did share,
without you here to share each joyous day
in friendship and love to play.
Each spot that you picked as yours
is empty and can't be looked at now
without missing you
and seeing you there.
Some mornings still I call your name,
half expecting you to appear
before I remember this awful pain
of knowing I won't see your like again.
Looking down from the Holy Hill where
I know you have gone to dwell,
forgive me, friend, for what I
accidentally did that helped send you there.
With your blameless heart and innocent soul,
I know you do.
In time, I will put away the guilt I feel
and remember only the goodness of you.
Doozie's mom
May 2007
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« Last Edit: July 10, 2007, 10:02:47 AM by 3catkidneyfailure »
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rom6
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« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2007, 07:49:48 AM » |
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Beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes. So sorry for your loss. I am grateful every day
to still have my pets.
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"Money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail." -Kinky Friedman
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3catkidneyfailure
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« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2007, 11:00:31 AM » |
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Thank you. I am so glad your pets are well and healthy.
Doozie died on February 10, 2007. Some days I do
forget she's gone even now.
I hope everyone who has lost a pet as a result of opening a bag
or can or pouch of food they thought was wholesome will never quit
fighting to protect and make food safety standards better for all the
other animals they love and care for.
Each time I have to stick my remaining two "furry kids" for sub-Q fluids
to keep them alive a while longer, I get angry all over again at the
cheap uncaring manufacturers and the miserable politicians they lobby and own
who are sitting on food safety bills for people and pets and ultimately
are doing nothing to make this better except letting those bills die quiet
deaths in Congressional committees. I really hope I'm not alone.
Looking at Itchmo, I know I'm not.
3cats
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« Last Edit: June 19, 2007, 08:38:07 PM by 3catkidneyfailure »
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JJ
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« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2007, 09:28:33 PM » |
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So sorry for your loss as it is so much harder when something that someone else did made this occur by cutting corners and not letting us make that choice if we wanted to buy that product or not. Take care.
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May your troubles be less,
Your blessings be more,
And nothing but happiness
Come through your door
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3catkidneyfailure
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« Reply #4 on: June 20, 2007, 08:59:26 AM » |
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Thank you for your kind comments, as I don't wish this kind of pain
on anyone or any innocent beings.
Maybe I just can't see the forest through the trees any more. Where is
the animal rights group, the veterinary medical association, the political
activist who is really doing anything to change this and make it impossible
for any more beautiful lives to be cut short?
I know we all care and don't want this to affect any more animals or people.
But where is the legislative fund that I can contribute to to pass laws to
make this impossible and make my pets count?
I've contacted the FDA, write to my Congresspersons, the food manufacturers,
and received silly form letters back that don't change anything. I guess that's
why I am discouraged and need guidance from others.
I will work through the grief and anger eventually (a long, long time from now).
I'd just like to see things I can point to that will make it impossible for this
to ever occur again. That would definitely help.
3cats
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« Last Edit: June 20, 2007, 07:02:57 PM by 3catkidneyfailure »
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shibadiva
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« Reply #5 on: June 20, 2007, 07:51:41 PM » |
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3cat You know, I bet your babies are just taking their lives in stride, and not fretting over whether you could have done something differently. I bet they are just happy that you love them and that, other than the odd subQ, life is pretty good.
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A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.
~~ Gandhi
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3catkidneyfailure
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« Reply #6 on: June 21, 2007, 11:20:37 AM » |
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Hey, Shibadiva:
Life has changed for them, too, I think. They are constantly having pills (vitamins, Azodyl, appetite stimulants, Prednisolone)
thrown down their throats, phosphorous blockers, and having their weights taken on a baby scale I now own. They have to
wait almost an hour before they are fed because they have to have Pepcid (famotadine(SP?), followed by phosphorous blocker
a half hour later, before they can eat. Their food is sprinkled with Epakitin and Forte Flora and tastes different, I'm sure. Then
there's the days they get fluids and hide so hard I have to search them down with a flashlight and figure out where the new
hiding places are when they see the fluid bag come out. Somehow they can tell just by the preparation what's about to happen
with those extra cat senses.
Yes, they have quality of life for now, but the complete trust they used to have seems to have been altered by this treatment-intensive disease.
I love them very much and think the alternative is worse as long as they can eat, play a little, although less than formerly with this disease,
but it has changed things for them (and me).
I certainly understand why some pet parents would elect not to do this at all, but simply to euthanize. It's a tough choice to balance
quality of life and the decision to let go.
There is no reason for any more pet parents to go through this if we can all just focus our attention and bring about the laws
that will prevent this from every happening again since the pet food industry is not worthy of our trust. I just really am treasuring
my furry kids, treating and loving until it's time to let go, and would very much like to see the necessary regulation happen. I hope
others feel this way, too. We all care about our pets and just have to be a part of effective legislation no matter how long it takes.
3cats
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« Last Edit: June 21, 2007, 11:24:05 AM by 3catkidneyfailure »
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shibadiva
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« Reply #7 on: June 21, 2007, 04:50:52 PM » |
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3cat I'm hoping you can put away any guilt. We all put some measure of trust in this industry to deliver food that wouldn't do harm.
Your little guys may hide when they know the treatment is coming, but they would never blame you for this.
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A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.
~~ Gandhi
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3catkidneyfailure
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« Reply #8 on: June 21, 2007, 07:10:17 PM » |
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They're my kids, the last I will have, since I don't have 15 more years to guarantee another animal.
I think all parents feel responsible for anything that happens to their kids to some degree. Some days
are better than others in trying to deal with this loss. Some chronic disease days are better than
others, too. So those of you going through it, know you're not alone in feeling shock, grief, anger,
and finally, I'm sure, acceptance after a time. When I wrote my message to Doozie, it was not a good
day, but it was what I was feeling and still do at times.
The best day I can imagine would be finding laws on the books and effective, funded government regulation that
would stop this from happening ever, ever again to pets or people. 5,000-plus deaths a year are not acceptable
losses to me. Here's hoping someone looks at and copies the stricter laws in Europe --
3cats
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« Last Edit: June 21, 2007, 07:21:16 PM by 3catkidneyfailure »
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3catkidneyfailure
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« Reply #9 on: June 22, 2007, 09:25:10 AM » |
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Thanks, Klondike; it's one of my greatest hopes, too. This problem has a scientific food-safety solution. Then my pets
and all the incredible "furry kids" will have counted and I think saved people, too.
3cats
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3catkidneyfailure
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« Reply #10 on: June 24, 2007, 10:36:56 PM » |
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Boy, tough day today. This was sub-Q fluids day for my two survivors. I am ashamed to admit
that I get sick to my stomach on the days I have to do this to them. I started fluids at home
to reduce stress on the cats and to reduce the incredibly high costs of chronic kidney failure
treatment by the vet. There is no medical reason to euthanize my kids at the moment; so that's
not an option presently.
Anyone who has done this have any suggestions on how to deal with owner upset? Or does it
get less the more times you do it? Really need advice and thank you!
3cats
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petslave
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« Reply #11 on: June 24, 2007, 11:55:43 PM » |
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2cat - sorry about the loss of your beloved kitty. I can totally understand your anger & guilt over what has happened to your cats, & what may still be happening out there because they refuse to admit their guilt. Giving fluids does get easier. I hate anything medical & especially needles, so when I had to start treating one of my cats years ago, it was very hard for me. I was nervous hours before I started, felt really nauseated as I got everything ready, & almost passed out several times the first 10 times or so. Luckily he was a great patient, stayed calm & waited quietly till done. My smallest kitty, Tessa, was diagnosed with CRF last month & I was hoping to not have to give her fluids but her latest bloodwork is showing she sound get them a few times a week. I fed them Natural Balance venison/pea dry food in Feb. The other cats haven't had any of the same symptoms so far, so not sure if that's why she got it or not. She is so different from my first cat that had it. She squirms & flips around, repeatedly knocking out the needle. Last time I tried, I only got 50ml in her after 4 sticks of the needle. I'm going to try the box method in a few days to see if she will stay still in a small space. You've probably already seen these 2 sites, but the first is excellent info on all the aspects of CRF kitty care. All the links are down the left side of page & have many more links. The second is Helen's yahoo CRF support group (she is the one that set up the first site). It's a really great place to discuss all this with people that are really experienced with CFR cat care, as well as just having others to talk to going through the same thing. You have to join, but it's a fairly short process. Helen's info site: http://www.felinecrf.org/Her support group: http://pets.groups.yahoo.com/group/feline-crf-info/I suspect your kitties are picking up on your real distress over the fluid giving process--they are really good at that--& that's why they hide & are having a bad time of it. Once I capture Tessa for her fluids, I spend a minute stroking her, taking deep breaths & trying to calm down & bring a loving 'aura' to the process. I think it helps me more than her--she just thinks it's a big love session & purrs & squirms even harder, making it much more difficult to get her to sit still. |
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3catkidneyfailure
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« Reply #12 on: June 25, 2007, 07:48:35 AM » |
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Thanks, concerned Itchmo readers, for the advice and empathy. Yesterday was fluid bag 2 and attempt number 7 and difficult.
Just knowing I'm not the only one who gets a little nauseated or has to stick the cat maybe twice helps. Obviously, also an
element of self-pity snuck up on me again (not for the last time, I'm sure). The sites you pointed out are great. The advice right on. The ability to vent, priceless.
The cats do seem to understand they feel better after and seem to cooperate somewhat. Ten minutes after it's over they are
back to rubbing on you, as if to say thanks. It's just rough to hurt what you have protected for so long.
Here's to the future time I won't get so upset. A swig of Mylanta seems to help. I'm hoping for many months more of good quality life for the furry kids and need never to forget that.
3cats
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petslave
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« Reply #13 on: June 25, 2007, 09:06:41 AM » |
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I'm so glad some of this info has helped--hang in there for your kitties (as I'm sure you will).
At least you're not on the verge of passing out like I was several times when I first did sub-q's! I remember one time I was feeling really queasy right after I got the needle in & fluids going (I so wimpy I have to lay down at the doctor's to get my blood drawn). Luckily my old kitty just sat there patiently while I kept one hand on the needle & his back, knelt on the floor & put my head down as far as possible so I didn't completely faint. I got over that fairly quickly. Nothing like having to do something over & over to get it right.
The CRF group pointed out another very helpful site on giving fluids--I picked up several good pointers here I didn't know about, even after a year & a half of giving fluids to my old cat. I'll try to dig up the link & post it later today.
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Carol
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« Reply #14 on: June 25, 2007, 12:18:51 PM » |
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3 cat-- I'm sorry you have gone through this. Doozie's message brought tears.  I too have two cats "surviving" with azodyl, epakitin, pepcid ac, potassium, watching urine output, water intake and consider a good day is when they eat on their own and not from a syringe. I know where your anger comes from---it feels like someone broke into our home and spoiled our happy little life. We were not doing anything risky with our beloved kids, we were just trying to feed them--I think that's the worst of it--in my case the delay in the first recall would have made the difference with my youngest and sickest---that's the absolute worst for me, knowing she may have not been so sick as I would not have continued feeding her "poison" if I knew there was any problem.. Good wishes to you,  Carol |
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“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” — Margaret Mead
United we stand Divided we fall....
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