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mgt
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« Reply #60 on: June 29, 2008, 10:53:06 PM » |
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Thank you all for your replies!!! Thank you!! Yes, now I will always carry him with me... Brandon, my husband, asked me if I wanted one of those tiny urns instead, but I couldn't ever open his little box... I just couldn't do it... I have this tiny tiny picture of him in this little box that I have in his "drawer", I put tape on it, it is where I have his little fur locks in... I took it out the other day thinking I was going to get that tiny picture to put in my locket and I didn't get past opening the tape. So that is why I went ahead and chose the locket... He will always be in my heart...
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mgt
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« Reply #61 on: July 11, 2008, 05:19:02 PM » |
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Today my heart is broken... last night I was standing at the sink washing dishes, when I realized something... There isn't one day, one hour, one moment that goes by that I don't carry my baby boy close to my heart and close in my mind... I am always thinking of him... always. I realized this... He is ALWAYS with me... it was a big revelation for me last night... it just came to me how much he really is such a part of me even now as we are no longer physically together. He may have just been a dog, like so many have told me, but he was my dog, he was my world... he was my everything!!! It was nice to think of how close I hold him still. I literally can't think of a time when he isn't with me or that he doesn't come to my mind... ever. I suppose it is a gift... the memories and the thoughts that get us through our seperation period. Today it has been 10 months that he left my side... 10 months and 8 hours... it seems like forever, yet in a way it seems like just the other day... maybe because I see him so clearly still... such a big part of me, he will always be. He was truley faithful... never known a person who was so faithful... yet he was. He was so loyal... so patient... He was just the best thing that ever happened to me, I am a much better person because I was blessed with him. 10 months ago I had to say goodbye... I know he didn't want to leave my side, he never wanted me to go... He would wait for me if I ever left his side in front of the door... he wouldn't budge for anyone until I walked through... in a way I picture him doing this in heaven... The days are growing near when I will have to say it has been my one year mark... I know that no matter how long, one year or 10, I will always miss him, I will always love him... My heart is forever broken, my soul will forever cry... but I have hope... and that is what we have to hold on to.... HOPE. That is something no one can ever take away or change... That is the only thing I have to offer a fellow grieving heart... HOPE. Someone sent me this poem the day my baby passed away, but I couldn't read it... it took me a long time to be able to read it... it really hit home when I finally did because I know he did fight with all of his might, and I know he did stay just for me... I miss you and love you always by precious baby boy... you are forever with me! May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain filled days
and endless lonely nights?
I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and loving light.
I want to go. I really do.
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.
To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and afraid,
because I see your tears.
I'll not be far, I promise that,
and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go.
Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you, too.
That's why it's hard to say goodbye
and end this life with you.
So hold me now just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.
Susan A. Jackson |
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Carol
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« Reply #62 on: July 11, 2008, 05:29:42 PM » |
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Thinking of you...   {{{Hugs}}} Carol x0x0x0 |
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“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” — Margaret Mead
United we stand Divided we fall....
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Sandi K
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« Reply #63 on: July 11, 2008, 05:42:41 PM » |
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Aaaaw mgt, such a very beautiful poem. It is OK to miss Arnold, it just shows how much you loved him. The locket is absolutely beautimous! Just know that everyone here cares about you so hopefully when you are feeling blue, you can feel the love and warmth from your friends here surrounding you. Big hugs to you.
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mgt
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« Reply #64 on: July 11, 2008, 05:55:39 PM » |
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Thank you Carol and Sandi, thank you!! I only come here... I don't talk about my saddness to anyone... just a little to my husband but mostly only here... He gets upset with me and says I need to move on, but it isn't about moving on... no one else understands like all of you... thank you
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« Last Edit: July 11, 2008, 06:00:14 PM by mgt »
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Poco
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« Reply #65 on: July 11, 2008, 06:43:28 PM » |
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Sorry you had a rough day, mgt, and hope tomorrow will be brighter. I was thinking of my little guys that are on the other side today, too, when we were out on a ride. It was such a beautiful day that I wished they could be with us.
I found your poem to be very moving and wise. We have to let them go, but we will always miss them.
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lesliek
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« Reply #66 on: July 11, 2008, 08:45:35 PM » |
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mgt- Sending big hugs your way ! Everyone moves on at their own speed,you will when you are ready.
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"the world's most inept extortionist"
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mgt
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« Reply #67 on: July 11, 2008, 09:09:27 PM » |
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Klondike and Lesliek, thank you so much for your kind words... and thank you for your big hugs!! Oh what would I do without you all!! Thank you so very much!! Thank you for being patient with me too, I have to say, I have never gone through something so painful before... I haven't lost someone so close to my heart... Thank you all for being so understanding...
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kaffe
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« Reply #68 on: July 11, 2008, 09:45:04 PM » |
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I'd like to have a copy of that poem I was seeing my beloved Pepe while I read it... yes, they are waiting for us - our dear faithful furry companions... while they were here in th physical plain with us, we were the apple of their eyes and they were the sunshine of our hearts. That can never end. |
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catwoods
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« Reply #69 on: July 11, 2008, 09:48:00 PM » |
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Sending hugs and prayers for comfort and peace, mgt. I miss so many, too, but they do stay with us throughout time.
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mgt
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« Reply #70 on: July 11, 2008, 10:54:35 PM » |
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Kaffe and Catwoods, thank you so much for your posts!! Always so inspirational, so supportive. Thank you for the hugs and prayers they are greatly appreciated!!! We are touched by this pain because we care for them so deeply... through my experiences, this is the only place, you all are the only ones that can relate... that can understand. They sure were the sunshine of our hearts!!!! Just to immagine thier smiling faces, their loving glance, brings some warmth to my heart... They sure are missed, I never immagined I could possibly miss someone so very much!!! |
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5CatMom
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« Reply #72 on: July 12, 2008, 04:42:26 AM » |
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Mgt,
Wonderful poem. Thanks for posting.
I think only lots of time can heal a heart that grieves for a lost loved one. Especially when the loss was unexpected or seems "unfair".
Do you have other furry loved ones who can comfort you during this difficult time?
5CatMom
=^..^=
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"What is man without the beasts? If the beasts were gone, men would die from a great loneliness of spirit. For whatever happens to the beasts, soon happens to man. All things are connected." Chief Seattle
"We are the caretakers of our creatures . . . the peacekeepers of our planet"
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Carol
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« Reply #73 on: July 12, 2008, 04:45:34 AM » |
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mgt, You are surrounded by very supportive loving people here. I know firsthand as you know...during Harry's illness and passing I was told about ill pet/pet loss support groups I might want to join but I looked around and found not one where I felt the love and support like the people here. I am not truly sure if posters here know the magnitude of what their caring and kind words really do for us in situations that are so painful....I could never have gotten through what I did recently without Itchmo and you mgt! and I hope you feel the same and know that this is your safe haven to be able to pour out your heart and we will let you! Love, Carol x0x0xx0 |
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“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” — Margaret Mead
United we stand Divided we fall....
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catmom5
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« Reply #74 on: July 12, 2008, 06:00:05 AM » |
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mgt, your poem moved me to tears. Thank you for sharing Arnold with us. They never leave our hearts, do they? I hope that time lessens the raw grief, although I believe we never "get over it" but hold them in our hearts and memories, as you so eloquently put it.
We're here!
catmom5
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