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mgt
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« Reply #15 on: November 11, 2007, 10:25:30 AM » |
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Today is a very difficult day for me... its been 2 months... even to the hour my baby left my side. I couldn't go to bed last night just thinking and remembering the day before he had to go. I went outside and cryed my heart out... just couldn't stay inside. I can't even write this post without tears. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to go through... Last night as I was sitting outside I thought how its been only 2 months... it seems like forever... it seems like I have been living each day so slowly and in some ways I just want time to go by faster. I knew it was going to be very hard... I just feel its even harder than I could have imagined. I keep having to remind myself at how I have to learn from him... he was such a patient little boy! Last night I was remembering when I was going through a really hard time in my life and my (then) fiance and I went our seperate ways, I told my little Arnold, "Don't ever leave me boy, promise me you won't ever leave me!!" I felt in my heart he understood... now I know he kept his promise... he lives in my heart. I know all of us share such special bonds with our babies so I know you all understand. I used to read all of the memorials before... crying for those who wrote about their little companion... and as I looked at my side I was thankful that I was still blessed with my babies. I am very blessed... I still have my other babies who I love with all of my heart... its just that one is now missing... my special, loving, wonderful little boy. It hurts so much. My dogs are my children, my family, now my family is not complete. Its funny because 3 years ago we (my husband and I) adopted a little female lab from the pound. It was a spur of the moment decision and it was one of the best ones we have ever made!! Arnold was a VERY good boy... amazingly good. He was content it just being him and I... but when this little girl came along he welcomed her and protected her... they were best friends. I never really realized how much of an impact he had on her until now... when I look at her and see her doing things that he used to do... she learned everything from him... to the point that it makes me wonder if it is him telling her to do certain things.
Thank you all for being such a great comfort to all of us who have lost our little ones... I am greatful that I can write and know that all of you understand the loss... He wasn't just a dog like so many say... he was and is my heart, my family, my little boy...
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« Last Edit: November 11, 2007, 07:18:14 PM by mgt »
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rom6
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« Reply #16 on: November 11, 2007, 11:44:14 AM » |
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What a sweet memorial to your Arnold. My heart goes out to you. I know what an empty
place it leaves in your heart to lose a beloved pet. And yes, it's a blessing to still have your
girl with you. I'll bet she misses him, too. Maybe lots of love and attention to her will help
both of you to heal.
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"Money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail." -Kinky Friedman
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3catkidneyfailure
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« Reply #17 on: November 11, 2007, 06:08:33 PM » |
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mgt, it hits so hard in so many ways no matter how long it's been losing
a part of your family, like Arnold. You just have to treat all your family
with as much love as you can every day, and hang on to the good memories, not the
loss memories. Joining in wishes for peace and happiness for you and all your family.
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Poco
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« Reply #18 on: November 11, 2007, 11:01:51 PM » |
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Thanks for sharing, mgt. You honor the grief we all bear when we lose a beloved friend. The other night my husband had a dream about our dog that we lost to lymphoma about 5 years ago. In the dream Cooper was playing with a friend of my husband's who also died from cancer about the same time Cooper did. He was confused by the dream because both Cooper and our friend were in the peak of health and just plain having lots of fun. I said that maybe the dream was a window into heaven. I pray for dreams like that to comfort me and have had several throughout the years.
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catwoods
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« Reply #19 on: November 11, 2007, 11:39:33 PM » |
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Your tribute to Arnold is very moving, mgt, I have lost pets too and I know how much you miss them but the love stays within your heart forever.
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catbird
Global Moderator
Hero Member
Posts: 3570
Torti Goddess
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« Reply #20 on: November 12, 2007, 05:14:34 PM » |
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Thank you for sharing this tribute to your dear Arnold. I know how much it hurts to lose them. Hugs on this difficult day.
catbird
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Cathy
Full Member
Posts: 68
Hunter 4/9/01-4/11/07
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« Reply #21 on: November 12, 2007, 10:02:25 PM » |
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Mgt, What a wonderful video. I'm so sorry about Arnold. I'm biased, but I think that Springers have the most soulful eyes in the world. That's what I miss most about my guy. They leave us too soon. Take care.
Cathy
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...he will be our friend for always and always and always.
Rudyard Kipling
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lesliek
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« Reply #22 on: November 15, 2007, 04:48:21 PM » |
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Mgt-I know nothing any of us say can help,but know we are thinking of you. Give your girl an extra hug from me & mine.
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"the world's most inept extortionist"
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mgt
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« Reply #23 on: November 15, 2007, 05:32:28 PM » |
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To everyone,
Thank you so very much, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you!!! I can't even begin to explain the comfort reading your posts brings. It helps so much when you connect with those who cherish their little companions as much as I do. Its just like losing a human family member... the loss you feel. He was a good boy... I will never be the same without him. He brought our little family so many blessings, even now, as he is gone, his memory has brought me all of you... thank you so much! God Bless!
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mgt
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« Reply #24 on: January 01, 2008, 03:51:26 PM » |
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On this day, beginning the New Year, I can't help but feel overwhelmed with emotions... I am sure that I am not alone with what I feel... When my baby started to get up there in age, every New Year that passed I feared the day that we would be appart... I silently wondered, deep inside and prayed that this would not be the year that pulled us apart. Unfortunatly, now I am living my nightmare, my worst fear... On this day, I, along with many, many others we begin our journey... The first beginning without our companions, our best friends by our sides... I miss him so very much... I couldn't go without grieving last night and as I sit here right now... I am lost, missing a big part of me that left on that September morning... I know he is in a better place a better place than I could ever offer him, but I can't help but want him back at the same time, if only to tell him how much I love him...
I have been very ill for the past month and a half. I have been struck with a very harsh case of pneumonia. I had never dreamed of my boy, I have never felt that he is still near me... only in my heart. I felt that there must be something wrong with me... how could I not even dream of him, I wondered... I read in another topic that many feel their beloved near them and know that they are still around... I felt as if I was not doing something right because I couldn't feel him or see him in my dreams. Well, while I was ill, I had a very high fever for about a week, I was unable to bring it down. It was during that time that I had my first, very vivid dream of my precious boy. I would like to share that dream with you... He came to me and licked my face and woke me up just like he used to do when he knew it was time to get up... It was wonderful, I could feel his soft fluffy fur, and smell him just like he was with me, I hugged him and I was so happy. I don't know or remember all of the details of most of my dream but I do remember very clearly how much joy I felt as I held him and pressed my face into his fur, as I ran my arms over his body... Then, all of a sudden, he started to get sick again, it was my nightmare beginning all over again. I could see his pain again, I could see him hurt and fall... It was horrible. I prayed and pleaded to please take him back, PLEASE TAKE HIM BACK!!!! I couldn't bare to see him in pain anymore... and he did... just like he came he was gone... all of a sudden I knew in my heart that I could never want him back... I know he is gone now because he is in a much better place... I can't help but wish he was better and that he was by my side, but I know he was taken because he was spared the suffering... I am greatful that he was spared. I miss him with all of my heart, he will always have that, but the dream made me understand the reason he had to go... the reason he was taken. My pain of heartache here is a price I would pay a million times over than have him suffer the way he was or could have for a longer period of time. So while I sit here and write on this New Years Day, I wish you all a very wonderful beginning, a Happy New Year... and to my baby, that I miss so much, although mommy misses you more than I could ever explain, I know you are free of everything that I couldn't save you from... I love you with all of my heart my baby boy... always and forever...
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« Last Edit: January 01, 2008, 04:01:18 PM by mgt »
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rom6
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« Reply #25 on: January 01, 2008, 04:07:44 PM » |
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I believe your guardian angel brought you this dream to help you find peace
in your soul. You have suffered so much this past year. May your new year
bring you a more positive outlook and perhaps a new friend to share all the
love you obviously have in your heart. All the best to you, mgt.
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"Money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail." -Kinky Friedman
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Carol
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« Reply #26 on: January 01, 2008, 04:21:38 PM » |
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mgt, I cry with you---I send you my prayers for you to be at peace and hugs. It is a hard holiday time!  Love, Carol andHarry, Lucy, Smudge and Angel Jessica |
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“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” — Margaret Mead
United we stand Divided we fall....
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5CatMom
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« Reply #27 on: January 01, 2008, 04:36:46 PM » |
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Dear mgt,
Hope the new year brings you peace and recovery from the pain of Arnold's loss. Very difficult to lose such a precious one, but you're very important to everyone, and you must regain your health.
Please take care of yourself.
5CatMom
=^..^=
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« Last Edit: January 01, 2008, 05:53:40 PM by 5CatMom »
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"What is man without the beasts? If the beasts were gone, men would die from a great loneliness of spirit. For whatever happens to the beasts, soon happens to man. All things are connected." Chief Seattle
"We are the caretakers of our creatures . . . the peacekeepers of our planet"
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Poco
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« Reply #28 on: January 01, 2008, 04:39:38 PM » |
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I'm glad you had a dream that was so rich with wisdom and comfort! I believe it is a communication....the illness could have been a wall, but now you know you have been encouraged to accept and to heal and go on. What else could Arnold want for you other than that? We never stop missing them, of course. Never.
I had a dream like that about my Sheltie, finally. It took me longer and that is why I'm so glad there are more resources and recognition of pet loss grief now. In the dream that I had, I was sleeping and heard Buster's sharp barks trying to wake me. They got louder and louder and then I got our of bed and he came running around the corner of the bed and jumped through the air into my arms. I could feel his life force and warmth and his fur was luxurious again. I remember clutching him close and just as I felt his heart beating and thought, "He's alive!", he faded away. Then I woke up in my bed in a quiet room to sort out the dream.
It was time to let go, not to bond again here on earth, but the dream has been a source of comfort to me many times.
I'm praying that your health will be fully restored in 2008, and that you have many years of happiness ahead as Arnold would want for you!
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« Last Edit: January 01, 2008, 04:41:49 PM by Klondike »
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MarySmith
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« Reply #29 on: January 01, 2008, 04:48:57 PM » |
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mgt,
What a beautiful tribute you have written. I read it with tears streaming down my face.
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MarySmith
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