So sorry that you lost Kitt'n.  For now.  You will see her again.
Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

We are doing a little better today.  This morning was hard, because we usually jump out of bed in the morning and go dashing into the bathroom to check on Kitt'n and start her daily long list of meds. I actually jumped up out of bed at 5:30am and then realized what happened yesterday.  The bathroom has a huge double door that leads into our bedroom, and we could always watch her if she wasn't in the bedroom with us.  I keep looking up at the bathroom out of habit to see what she's doing, and then I see the bathroom so empty now.  It was filled with her things, beds, toys, food, litter, but also the bad things, a counter top filled with bottles of pills, syringes, absorbant pads, kitty wipes, paper towels, her own washcloths, towels, my daily written log of everything she did. It's now all gone and I think, what a little precious champ Kitt'n was to put up with all of this for so long.
 
I'm sure she died of a heart attack.  On early Thursday morning she was fine, walking around, eating, going downstairs, had the small BM, batted at the catnip toy, the usual things she would do in the morning.  Then about 9:00 am she was walking across the bedroom to go into the bathroom, and she was wobbly and stumbling.  I called my husband at work and he came right back home, I knew this was it.  I think she had a minor stroke at that time.  After that, she stayed in her bed all day with her face buried in the side of the bed.  She buried it so hard I thought she was trying to suffocate herself.  She wouldn't eat, purr, drink water, no little box use.  She wouldn't even lift her head.  No response when we pet her.  I stayed up with her until midnight in the bathroom laying by her side.  I dozed off about midnight and woke up at 2:00 am.  She was gone.  Still alive, but her eyes were totally dialated, she was completely limp, had excreted everything inside of her, breathing was real hard, then barely there, then real hard.  She must have had another stroke during the two hour period.
 
We put her in the cat carrier and took her to the vet.  I wanted to stay home with her and let her die there, but knew this could go on for hours and she was suffering.  By the time we got to the vet, she had passed on.
 
I miss her terribly.  A little 3 lb. 7 oz kitty that would give the hardest headbutts and the biggest meows and purrs from that tiny body.  I know the suffering is over and she's in a much better place, so with that thought in mind I find comfort.  I can't believe she lived with us for 19 years.  She actually could be much older as she was full grown when we found her as a feral, and we just started her age at "1" and went on together for 19 years.  For the first 3 years, we couldn't even pet Kitt'n she was so feral.  I had a stick toy I would stroke her back with, so she would get used to the sense of touch.   But once she got used to love, she sure took advantage of it and turned into the most precious little kitty.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you've done in helping us through this.  I'm sure we added much good, quality time to Kitt'n's life from all the invaluable research and comments and real life experiences that everyone shares here for the good of all furkids.  That's Itchmo.

Nabiya -
     Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking last day with Kitt'n.  Your devotion to her care over these last months is to be admired.  She surely felt your love with everything you did for her.  You have many, many years of memories to make you smile once these difficult days are past.  May you find peace in those happy memories.  Keeping you in my prayers.   

I hope it will be a great comfort to you that you were by Kitt'n's side for her last hours in this life.  Please consider a memorial later if you feel like it.

Nabiya, thank you for sharing with us Kitti'n's last day on this plane.     I want to say more, but my eyes are all teard up.  Hugs, Nabiya.   

Through all your hard work and help for Kitt'n, you still took time to help others with your knowledge and experiences.

I am one of those very grateful people.    

May you heart soon find calm and your fondest memories of Kitt'n live on forever in your heart and mind.

Peg

Thanks for sharing Kitt'n's last, & first, days with you--she was obviously one of those 'special ones'.  It's good you could be with her in her last hours.  I'm sure she knew you were there for her & got comfort from having you there.  Peace to you & little angel Kitt'n.