Tesla, I am so sorry to read the sad story of Mr. Brown, but as I read, I realized that he had a most wonderful person in you!!!

Although your heart is sad and heavy, remember that the memories you both shared will live on forever in your heart.  He is in a wonderful place right now and will always be your Angel Mr. Brown.

May the days ahead bring you comfort and welcome to Itchmo.
Please rejoin us when you are able.

tesla,
     I am so sorry for the loss of Mr. Brown.  Please find comfort in the fact that you did everything possible to find a way to make him better.  Memories of him will remain in your heart forever and he will be waiting for your at the Bridge.     I, too, have lit a candle for him and for you.

Welcome to Itchmo, Tesla. I am so sorry to learn of the loss of Mr. Brown. You certainly did everything you could to help him and that is all we can do. I have lost many too and I know that it is so hard to lose them, but I also know that the love and memories are forever and remain in your heart.

Thank you all for your support, it truly has been a long and hard week for me.  My boyfriend has been supportive, but unfortunately, I do not think he really understands just how devastated I am at this time.  Mr. Brown was my child, I do not have any children of my own nor can I have any and he truly filled that void.  He was one of the most special cats I have ever owned and even my vet commented that you couldn't help but to instantly fall in love with him.  I don't know if anyone else has ever had a kitty that constantly wanted to be held, but he would have been content if someone would hold him all day long no matter what they were doing.  He would sit on my shoulder while I cleaned, did housework, drive to the vet's office, you name it.  You never had to put him in a carrier as long as someone was there willing to hold him on their shoulder and he never stopped purring.  As soon as you acknowledged him in any way, his motor was instantly activated.  No matter what the vets did to him, he would always look up at them and be happy to see them and forgiving of anything any of us did to him.  Didn't matter if you pilled him, force fed him, he never held a grudge.  I won't lie, I'm still very lost without him, I was up round the clock checking on him, took him to work with me everyday and now there is an emptiness that I just can't fill.  My arms are so empty not having him there to hold and simple tasks seem so different now that I not doing them with a kitty on my shoulder.  I miss my "snuggle bunny" not being there rubbing his face against my neck, he was just one special baby.

Thank you so much for letting me share a little bit about my baby to you and I truly appreciate all of you understanding just how I feel.
It really helps to have someone to share with that won't just shake their head when they see me cry for the umteenth time because I've seen something that reminds me of my special angel or when I need something to snuggle with and realize he's not there.  I lost his brother last year to lymphoma and Mr. Brown was there helping me through that terrible loss.  He's always been there on my shoulder purring as I cried into his mane when I was down and now there's no kitty there to help me through the pain.  So I want to thank you all for giving me that place where it's okay to cry, it's okay to show how I really feel and I don't have to paint a fake smile on my face and pretend all is well in the world.  I know my emotions are high because I'm tired, I haven't slept for more that 2 1/2 hours at a time in over two months since this nightmare has begun and I haven't broken the insomnia cycle yet.  I keep waking up on instinct expecting to check on my kitty only to see his favorite sleeping spot is empty. 

Thank you for letting me ramble, it helps to have someone to talk to at this time that can relate.  I wish you all the best, especially Judy who has gone through so much, I truly empathize with you.  You and Socks are in my prayers daily.

That was indeed a very moving tribute to Mr. Brown and I hope you find some comfort in giving voice to your feelings. I'm so sorry . There are those I still look for around the house; I hope it helps in some small way to know that others have had similar feelings when going through these losses.

I just wanted to post today because it has been one year since Socks had her brain surgery.  I went back and read the beginning of this thread and remembered all the help and support you gave me back then.  I don't really have an update I am afraid the tumor is growing back I was told 2-3 years and recently she has been acting odd hiding in the closet and under the bed.  I think she is beginning to lose kidney function also but not serious per her blood and urine tests that were done about a month ago but she is seriously drinking a lot of water and sitting over her water bowl for a while now.  I don't know if there could be something else going on or not but I will probably have the bloodwork repeated in a month or two.

Anyway I hope no one minds that I brought back her thread but I really just wanted to mark the day and thank all my Itchmo friends again.

Judy

Judy, I'm sorry to hear that Socks is having some problems.  But thank you for reminding us all about what went on one year ago.  She is truly an amazing cat, and you are an amazing caregiver.  The strength in both of you is something to be admired.